Why do I do what I do?
‘Sapiens’ book author gives an interesting theory. I’m positive about the increasing usefulness of computers that makes data about myself more accurate than what my feeling or biological sense/algorithms can calculate.
In this scope, I’m happy to take further my own tracking system, a system that if it yields a minimum critical information about how I conduct myself, how I behave and how "interesting" and "desirable" patterns come about. I can then learn to replicate these sequence of events and their timing in order to replicate them.
The only issue I’m encountering so far is the logging of information. I have to admit that hours of building and effort have not made the tracking system as easy and "to the point" as it used to be, in it’s last version during December 2015.
Maybe I should consider going back to that. At least I’m using my time here to build and learn more about programming. But isn’t my time better used working on my primavera goal.
I have to say the primavera goal is getting forgotten. There is an inner voice that says "it can wait", I have what I need. The food, the warmth, shelter, parents that take care of things, until they don’t. Interestingly, the more my parents are accepting, not necessarily encouraging, what I do, the less I’m driven to do it.
It’s like that a good portion of my motivation comes from proving them wrong, being different from them, proving that I can be independent from them. The more I achieve that, and actually the primavera goal doesn’t have to be achieved to be seen as independent, the less I work toward my primavera goal. If that makes sense.
What I mean that I should focus on achieving the primavera goal, or any goal, because it’s my purpose, because it’s within my feelings, my purpose, not prove anything to anyone but myself.
Living in the art world, and opening people’s eyes through art and it’s wisdom, and history is still of interest to me. I still believe that I have found something I love. For once. Yes I like to build things, but not necessarily to Construction contractor in Tangier.
Who are the people that my art projects are directed to? Well I believe that my "Tribe" are somewhere of my age. Trying to understand , the essence of life. That want to achieve things for themselves, have a "meaningful" life, certainly of comfortable upbringing, but still believe that something is empty in them, yes they have almost everything from their parents, but they want to disprove the rule, that a performing generation more often yields to a spoiled and lazy generation, that doesn;t have any drive to achieve great things for themeselves or others.
Of course you can give me multiple counter-examples, but I don’t want to be the spoiled kid that has everything and built nothing.
So my art project is something is something I can build in, that I can contribute with the others and myself.